Defined by Love

For years I allowed my life to be defined by my "love" relationships. I lost a lot of myself by doing that and realized that it wasn't such a healthy choice but today, I absolutely want ALL of my life to be defined by my greatest Love relationship - my relationship with my Savior, Jesus Christ. I have struggled with understanding and accepting His love at times and it's most noticeable when I beat myself up for being a bad mom, a bad friend, being divorced, etc... The Lord, in His tender way whispered to my heart, "Are you willing to allow your life to be defined by your relationship with Me?"

Here is my response:

"Letting go. Let go. I've heard those words echoing in my head since 3 am. What is God calling me to let go of? For weeks, I have been trying to pick and choose what I want to give Him. Keeping the "most important" things for myself. Today, instead of picking and choosing, I am letting go of everything. Everything meaning my friendships, my relationships, my children, my church, MY dreams, my job. EVERYTHING. I am releasing everything to Him to do as HE sees fit - even if it isn't the same plan that I have. I am letting go of my fears and may safety nets. I am choosing to STAND and DWELL in the midst of God's great love for me. I am letting go of MY ideals to make room for His. I'm letting go of MY thoughts of what is best for me to allow HIM to provide HIS best for me. Today I am letting go of MY world and MY life to allow HIM the blank canvas to work on HIS masterpiece; to allow HIM to leave out anything that does not resemble the person that HE calls me to be. It is scary. It is exciting (except that I am addicted to safety) What I am learning is that for my life to be defined by my relationship with Him I must let go of EVERY part of MY life. By holding on to any part of my life or my world allows me only to view ME from MY perspective which is most often riddled with fear and performance anxiety. I am taking my cues from the world and a society that tells me to slow down or wait is to be lazy or irresponsible. (How much more irresponsible is it to step ahead of God?) When I decide to allow my life to be defined by Him - when I let Him write my story, I take cues from the Perfect Author, Teacher, Father and Friend. It's taken me a while to decide if I want to accept the role as the main character in HIS story and close the book on mine because in doing it's requiring complete, unabandoned love, trust and SURRENDER. By allowing my Love relationship with Him to define my life I am free to let go of the rules, fears and anxieties that plagued my earthly "love" relationships and simply bask in the grace and mercy of His great Love for me."

That is a pretty wordy response, but it speaks to the steps that I am taking to know only claim to know His love for me, but to step out in faith and begin to truly accept the unending, undying and unchanging love that He has for me.

I will sing for joy in God, explode in praise from deep in my soul!
He dressed me up in a suit of salvation, he outfitted me in a robe of righteousness,
As a bridegroom who puts on a tuxedo and a bride a jeweled tiara.
For as the earth bursts with spring wildflowers, and as a garden cascades with blossoms, so the Master, God, brings righteousness into full bloom and puts praise on display before the nations. Isaiah 61:10(MSG)